NGS (which make about fifty-four English.
miles,) and two and a half in breadth; as I measured it myself in
the royal map made by the king's order, which was laid on the
ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: I paced
the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and,
computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.
The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings,
about seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two
hundred and forty feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A
coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her
governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among
the shops; and I was always of the party, carried in my box;
although the girl, at my own desire, would often take me out, and
hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view the
houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned
our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not
altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the
governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where
the beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of
the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever a
European eye beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her
breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of
which I could have easily crept, and covered my whole body.
There was a fellow with a wen in his neck, larger than five wool-packs;
and another, with a couple of wooden legs, each about
twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of all, was the lice
crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of these
vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a European
louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they.
rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I
should have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had
had proper instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the
ship, although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly
turned my stomach.
Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen
ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet
square, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling; because
the other was somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch's lap, and
cumbersome in the coach; it was made by the same artist, whom I
directed in the whole contrivance. This travelling-closet was an
exact square, with a window in the middle of three of the squares,
and each window was latticed with iron wire on the outside, to
prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side, which had
no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the
person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put
a leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always
the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide,
whether I attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were
disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or
minister of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be
out of order; for I soon began to be known and esteemed among
the greatest officers, I suppose more upon account of their
majesties' favour, than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I
was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would buckle on
my box, and place it upon a cushion before him; and there I had a
full prospect of the country on three sides, from my three
windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a hammock, hung.
from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the
floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or
the coach. And having been long used to sea-voyages, those
motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much
discompose me.
Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my
travelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of
open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men,
and attended by two others in the queen's livery. The people, who
had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the
sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers
stop, and to take me in her hand, that I might be more
conveniently seen.
I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the
tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the
kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I
may truly say I came back disappointed; for the height is not
above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the
highest pinnacle top; which, allowing for the difference between
the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great matter for
admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly remember) to
Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a nation, to which,
during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it
must be allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants in height,
is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the walls are near a
hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about
forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of gods and.
emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their several
niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from one
of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and
found it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch
wrapped it up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her
pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of which the girl was very
fond, as children at her age usually are.
The king's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and
about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten
paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's: for I measured the latter on
purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen
grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on
the spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly
believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a
little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which
censure I fear I have run too much into the other extreme; and that
if this treatise should happen to be translated into the language of
Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and
transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to
complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive
representation.
His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables:
they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he
goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military
guard of five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the
most splendid sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his
army in battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak...

        CHAPTER V.

[Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of
a criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.]
I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness
had not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome
accidents; some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch
often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box,
and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand,
or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the
queen, he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse
having set me down, he and I being close together, near some
dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a silly allusion
between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their
language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue,
watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them,
shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of
them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my
ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and
knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no other hurt,
and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the
provocation..
Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to
divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her
governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent
shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it, struck to
the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such
cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennis-balls;
however, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and shelter
myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-side of a border of
lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot, that I could not go
abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because
nature, in that country, observing the same proportion through all
her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large
as one in Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having been
so curious as to weigh and measure them.
But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same
garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure
place (which I often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my
own thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid the
trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her
governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was
absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged to
one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden,
happened to range near the place where I lay: the dog, following
the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran
straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the
ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was
carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing
my clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a.
great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me
up in both his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so
amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few
minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little
nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the place where she left
me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer
when she called. She severely reprimanded the gardener on
account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known
at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's anger; and truly, as
to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation, that such a
story should go about.
This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust
me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of
this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little
unlucky adventures, that happened in those times when I was left
by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at
me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a
thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his
talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell
to my neck in the hole, through which that animal had cast up the
earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse
myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my right shin
against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I
was walking alone and thinking on poor England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe,
in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be
at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance,.
looking for worms and other food, with as much indifference and
security as if no creature at all were near them. I remember, a
thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a
of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast.
When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly
turn against me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst
not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back
unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they did before. But
one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my strength so
luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by
the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my
nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering
himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides of
my head and body, though I held him at arm's-length, and was out
of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let
him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who
wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by
the queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember,
seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan.
The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their
apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on
purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They
would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full
length in their bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted because,
to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins;
which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those
excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but I
conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my.
littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the
same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their
natural smell was much more supportable, than when they used
perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot
forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom
in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, to
complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty
that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of smelling
was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people.
Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my
mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as
sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of
honour (when my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them
use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had
no sort of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the
skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed
on their toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure
to me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me
any other emotions than those of horror and disgust: their skins
appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw
them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and
hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing
farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all
scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the
quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above
three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a.
pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me
astride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein
the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was
so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive
some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.
One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's
governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was
of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate
acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the
company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally
tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind
of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I
thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a
chair upon a scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut off
at one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The veins and
arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so
high in the air, that the great JET D'EAU at Versailles was not
equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the
scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I
was at least half an English mile distant.
The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages,
and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked
me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and
whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my
health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for although
my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the
ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common.
mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in their
country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a first-rate man
of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage would never
live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrive a
boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a
place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and
by my instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all
its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it
was finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in
her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of
water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my
two sculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had
before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a
wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight
deep; which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on
the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a
cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to grow
stale; and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I
often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the
queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained
with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and
then my business was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a
gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some of their
pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I
showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased.
When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into
her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry..
In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost
me my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the
trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very
officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I happened to
slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have fallen down
forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I
had not been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good
gentlewoman's stomacher; the head of the pin passing between
my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus I was held by
the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief.
Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my
trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a
huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay
concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a resting-place,
climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I
was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to
prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once
half the length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and
forward, daubing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The
largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed animal
that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me
deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls,
and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.
But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was
from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen.
Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went
somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being very.
warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the windows
and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because
of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my
table, I heard something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip
about from one side to the other: whereat, although I was much
alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my seat;
and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and
down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view
with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every
window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but
the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I
wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I
might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping,
grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one of
his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse,
although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the
lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was
very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his
right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to
suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a
kitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me
so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good
reason to believe, that he took me for a young one of his own
species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other
paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet
door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly
leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence
upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding
me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to.
ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was
carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter
of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the
monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge
of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and
feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some
victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps,
and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble
below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly
ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous
enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up
stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly
forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out.
The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men;
which the monkey observing, and finding himself almost
encompassed, not being able to make speed enough with his three
legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat
for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting
every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my
own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge
to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen,
climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me
down safe.
I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had
crammed down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of
my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which
gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides.
with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was
forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the
court, sent every day to inquire after my health; and her majesty
made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was
killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be kept
about the palace.
When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks
for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this
adventure. He asked me, "what my thoughts and speculations
were, while I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he
gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the
roof had sharpened my stomach." He desired to know, "what I
would have done upon such an occasion in my own country." I
told his majesty, "that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such
as were brought for curiosity from other places, and so small, that
I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to
attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so
lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears
had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger,"
(looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke)
"when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have
given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to
withdraw it with more haste than he put it in." This I delivered in a
firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage should
be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else
beside a laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty
from those about him could not make them contain. This made
me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do.
himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality
or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own
behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little
contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or
common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put
himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.
I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story:
and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch
enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that
she thought would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had
been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air
about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted
out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field, and
Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to
walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my
activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but
unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle
up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of
the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief,
for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box,
till we returned home; where the queen was soon informed of
what had passed, and the footmen spread it about the court: so that
all the mirth for some days was at my expense..

        CHAPTER VI.

[Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen.
He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of
England, which the author relates to him. The king's observations
thereon.]
I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had
often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first
very terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as
an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the
country, was only shaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on the
barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked
forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of
fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several
holes in it at equal distances with as small a needle as I could get
from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping
and sloping them with my knife toward the points, that I made a
very tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own
being so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless:
neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as
would undertake to make me another..
And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many
of my leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me
the combings of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good
quantity; and consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who
had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him
to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box,
and to bore little holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I
designed the backs and seats; through these holes I wove the
strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane
chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a present of
them to her majesty; who kept them in her cabinet, and used to
show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of
every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon
one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting
I would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on
those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of
these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made
a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name
deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the
queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than use,
being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and
therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are
fond of.
The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court,
to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to
hear them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly
distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums and
trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at.
your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box
removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I
could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the
window curtains; after which I found their music not disagreeable.
I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended
twice a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat
resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the same
manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the
king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But
this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet was near sixty feet
long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with my arms
extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them
down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be
too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was
this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common
cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered
the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on
them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the
sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet
below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon
it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys
with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great
satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent
exercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen
keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble together, as other
artists do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance..
The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent
understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in
my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then
command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit
down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet,
which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I
had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to
tell his majesty, "that the contempt he discovered towards Europe,
and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable to those
excellent qualities of mind that he was master of; that reason did
not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we
observed in our country, that the tallest persons were usually the
least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and ants had
the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the
larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I
hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service." The
king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better
opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired "I would give
him as exact an account of the government of England as I
possibly could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their
own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my
former discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that
might deserve imitation."
Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished
for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled
me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style
equal to its merits and felicity..
I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our
dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three
mighty kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in
America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and the
temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the
constitution of an English parliament; partly made up of an
illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the noblest
blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described
that extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and
arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and
kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the
highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to
be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and
country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the
ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their
most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of
their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to
degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of
that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business
is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people
therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole
nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of
the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the
sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were
indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.
That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly
called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen,
freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their.
great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of
the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most
august assembly in Europe; to whom, in conjunction with the
prince, the whole legislature is committed.
I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges,
those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for
determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as
for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I
mentioned the prudent management of our treasury; the valour
and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the
number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there
might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did
not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular
which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I
finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in
England for about a hundred years past.
This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of
several hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention,
frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums
of what questions he intended to ask me.
When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a
sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts,
queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, "What
methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young
nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the
first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to.
supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct?
What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created
new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a
court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the
public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those
advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the
laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable
them to decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last
resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice,
partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view,
could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I
spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their
knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives; had
never been compliers with the times, while they were common
priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose
opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were
admitted into that assembly?"
He then desired to know, "What arts were practised in electing
those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong
purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before
their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the
neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so
violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to
be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families,
without any salary or pension? because this appeared such an
exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed
to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.".
And he desired to know, "Whether such zealous gentlemen could
have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and
trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs
of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted
ministry?" He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly
upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and
objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty
desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better
able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in
chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, "What
time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong,
and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had
liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust,
vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics,
were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether
those pleading orators were persons educated in the general
knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other
local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in
penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of
interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they
had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same
cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether
they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received any
pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And
particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the
lower senate?".
He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, "he
thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes
at about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention
the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than
double; for the notes he had taken were very particular in this
point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our
conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in
his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a
loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private
person." He asked me, "who were our creditors; and where we
found money to pay them?" He wondered to hear me talk of such
chargeable and expensive wars; "that certainly we must be a
quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that
our generals must needs be richer than our kings." He asked, what
business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of
trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?" Above all,
he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in
the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, "if we were
governed by our own consent, in the persons of our
representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or
against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion,
whether a private man's house might not be better defended by
himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals,
picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might
get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?"
He laughed at my "odd kind of arithmetic," as he was pleased to
call it, "in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation
drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.".
He said, "he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions
prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should
not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any
government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce
the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his
closet, but not to vend them about for cordials."
He observed, "that among the diversions of our nobility and
gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age
this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid
down; how much of their time it employed; whether it ever went
so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious people,
by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and
sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as
habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the
improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they
received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon
others?"
He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him
of our affairs during the last century; protesting "it was only a
heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions,
banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction,
hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy,
lust, malice, and ambition, could produce."
His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate
the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with
the answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and.
stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall
never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: "My little friend
Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your
country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and
vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that
laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose
interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding
them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in
its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and
the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not
appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required
toward the procurement of any one station among you; much less,
that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are
advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their conduct or
valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love of their
country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,"
continued the king, "who have spent the greatest part of your life
in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have
escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered
from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains
wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of
your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin
that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.".

        CHAPTER VII.

[The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much
advantage to the king, which is rejected. The king's great
ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect
and confined. The laws, and military affairs, and parties in the
state.]
Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me
from concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover
my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I
was forced to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved
country was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of
my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but
this prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every
particular, that it could not consist either with gratitude or good
manners, to refuse giving him what satisfaction I was able. Yet
thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication, that I
artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point a
more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of truth
would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to
my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much
justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties and
deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and.
beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere
endeavour in those many discourses I had with that monarch,
although it unfortunately failed of success.
But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly
secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be
altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most
prevail in other nations: the want of which knowledge will ever
produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of thinking,
from which we, and the politer countries of Europe, are wholly
exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote a prince's
notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard for all
mankind.
To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the
miserable effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a
passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate
myself further into his majesty's favour, I told him of "an
invention, discovered between three and four hundred years ago,
to make a certain powder, into a heap of which, the smallest spark
of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a moment, although it
were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up in the air
together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That a
proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass
or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead,
with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its
force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only
destroy whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest
walls to the ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in.
each, to the bottom of the sea, and when linked together by a
chain, would cut through masts and rigging, divide hundreds of
bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That we often
put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and discharged
them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would
rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw
splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all who came
near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap and
common; I understood the manner of compounding them, and
could direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size
proportionable to all other things in his majesty's kingdom, and
the largest need not be above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty
of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and
balls, would batter down the walls of the strongest town in his
dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever
it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands." This I
humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of
acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received,
of his royal favour and protection.
The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of
those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. "He was
amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I" (these
were his expressions) "could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in
so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the
scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the
common effects of those destructive machines; whereof," he said,
"some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the first
contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few things.
delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet
he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a
secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to
mention any more."
A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince
possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and
esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning,
endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored by his
subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in
Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put into
his hands that would have made him absolute master of the lives,
the liberties, and the fortunes of his people! Neither do I say this,
with the least intention to detract from the many virtues of that
excellent king, whose character, I am sensible, will, on this
account, be very much lessened in the opinion of an English
reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen from their
ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a science,
as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember very
well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to
say, "there were several thousand books among us written upon
the art of government," it gave him (directly contrary to my
intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings. He
professed both to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement,
and intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what
I meant by secrets of state, where an enemy, or some rival nation,
were not in the case. He confined the knowledge of governing
within very narrow bounds, to common sense and reason, to
justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and.
criminal causes; with some other obvious topics, which are not
worth considering. And he gave it for his opinion, "that whoever
could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon
a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve
better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country,
than the whole race of politicians put together."
The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in
morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be
allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what
may be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all
mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little esteemed.
And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could
never drive the least conception into their heads.
No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters
in their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But
indeed few of them extend even to that length. They are expressed
in the most plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not
mercurial enough to discover above one interpretation: and to
write a comment upon any law, is a capital crime. As to the
decision of civil causes, or proceedings against criminals, their
precedents are so few, that they have little reason to boast of any
extraordinary skill in either.
They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out
of mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king,
which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a
thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet.
long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The
queen's joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a
kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a
standing ladder; the steps were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a
moveable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at ten feet distance
from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was
put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the upper step of
the ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began at the top
of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or ten
paces, according to the length of the lines, till I had gotten a little
below the level of mine eyes, and then descending gradually till I
came to the bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the
other page in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which
I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff
as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or
twenty feet long.
Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they
avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using
various expressions. I have perused many of their books,
especially those in history and morality. Among the rest, I was
much diverted with a little old treatise, which always lay in
Glumdalclitch's bed chamber, and belonged to her governess, a
grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of morality and
devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human kind, and is
in little esteem, except among the women and the vulgar.
However, I was curious to see what an author of that country
could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the
usual topics of European moralists, showing "how diminutive,.
contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his own nature;
how unable to defend himself from inclemencies of the air, or the
fury of wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in
strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a fourth in
industry." He added, "that nature was degenerated in these latter
declining ages of the world, and could now produce only small
abortive births, in comparison of those in ancient times." He said
"it was very reasonable to think, not only that the species of men
were originally much larger, but also that there must have been
giants in former ages; which, as it is asserted by history and
tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls,
casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the
common dwindled race of men in our days." He argued, "that the
very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been
made, in the beginning of a size more large and robust; not so
liable to destruction from every little accident, of a tile falling
from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being
drowned in a little brook." From this way of reasoning, the author
drew several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but
needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid
reflecting how universally this talent was spread, of drawing
lectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of discontent and
repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I believe,
upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded
among us as they are among that people.
As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army consists
of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two
thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up.
of tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in the country,
whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry, without pay
or reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their exercises, and
under very good discipline, wherein I saw no great merit; for how
should it be otherwise, where every farmer is under the command
of his own landlord, and every citizen under that of the principal
men in his own city, chosen after the manner of Venice, by ballot?
I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise,
in a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in
all not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse;
but it was impossible for me to compute their number, considering
the space of ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large
steed, might be about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole
body of horse, upon a word of command, draw their swords at
once, and brandish them in the air.
Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so
astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were
darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.
I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there
is no access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to
teach his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon
informed, both by conversation and reading their histories; for, in
the course of many ages, they have been troubled with the same
disease to which the whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility
often contending for power, the people for liberty, and the king for
absolute dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the.
laws of that kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of
the three parties, and have more than once occasioned civil wars;
the last whereof was happily put an end to by this prince's grand-father,
in a general composition; and the militia, then settled with
common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest duty..

        CHAPTER VIII.

[The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author
attends them. The manner in which he leaves the country very
particularly related. He returns to England.]
I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my
liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or
to form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in
which I sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight
of that coast, and the king had given strict orders, that if at any
time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its
crew and passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was
strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I
might propagate the breed: but I think I should rather have died
than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity to be kept in
cages, like tame canary-birds, and perhaps, in time, sold about the
kingdom, to persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed
treated with much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king
and queen, and the delight of the whole court; but it was upon
such a foot as ill became the dignity of humankind. I could never
forget those domestic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be
among people, with whom I could converse upon even terms, and
walk about the streets and fields without being afraid of being trod.
to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came
sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common; the
whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.
I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning
of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a
progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual,
in my travelling-box, which as I have already described, was a
very convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a
hammock to be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the
top, to break the jolts, when a servant carried me before him on
horseback, as I sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my
hammock, while we were upon the road. On the roof of my closet,
not directly over the middle of the hammock, I ordered the joiner
to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hot weather, as
I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drew
backward and forward through a groove.
When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to
pass a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within
eighteen English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were
much fatigued: I had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so
ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to see the ocean,
which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever it should
happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was, and desired
leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a page, whom I was very
fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall
never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented,
nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me,.
bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some
forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box,
about half an hours walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the
seashore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my
sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I
found myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to
take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I
got in, and the boy shut the window close down, to keep out the
cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, while I slept,
the page, thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks
to look for birds' eggs, having before observed him from my
window searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts.
Be that as it will, I found myself suddenly awaked with a violent
pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the top of my box for the
conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air,
and then borne forward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had
like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but afterward the
motion was easy enough. I called out several times, as loud as I
could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards my
windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a
noise just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then
began to perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle
had got the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall
on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and
devour it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to
discover his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed
than I could be within a two-inch board..
In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to
increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a
sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought
given to the eagle (for such I am certain it must have been that
held the ring of my box in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt
myself falling perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with
such incredible swiftness, that I almost lost my breath. My fall
was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears
than the cataract of Niagara; after which, I was quite in the dark
for another minute, and then my box began to rise so high, that I
could see light from the tops of the windows. I now perceived I
was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the
goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength
at the four corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet
deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle
which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three others,
and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself against the
rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at
the bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the
balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the
surface of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the
door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which
kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with
much difficulty out of my hammock, having first ventured to draw
back the slip-board on the roof already mentioned, contrived on
purpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself almost
stifled..
How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch,
from whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say
with truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not
forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for
my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of her fortune.
Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater difficulties
and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting every moment to
see my box dashed to pieces, or at least overset by the first violent
blast, or rising wave. A breach in one single pane of glass would
have been immediate death: nor could any thing have preserved
the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed on the outside,
against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in at several
crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I
endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift
up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have
done, and sat on the top of it; where I might at least preserve
myself some hours longer, than by being shut up (as I may call it)
in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what
could I expect but a miserable death of cold and hunger? I was
four hours under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed
wishing, every moment to be my last.
I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples
fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and into
which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put
a leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist. Being in this
disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind
of grating noise on that side of my box where the staples were
fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that the box was pulled or.
towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a sort of tugging,
which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows, leaving
me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief,
although I was not able to imagine how it could be brought about.
I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always
fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it
down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had lately
opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I
could to the hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the
languages I understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick
I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several
times in the air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen
might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.
I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my
closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better,
that side of the box where the staples were, and had no windows,
struck against something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a
rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a
noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the
grating of it as it passed through the ring. I then found myself
hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet higher than I was before.
Whereupon I again thrust up my stick and handkerchief, calling
for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great
shout repeated three times, giving me such transports of joy as are
not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a
trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the hole
with a loud voice, in the English tongue, "If there be any body
below, let them speak." I answered, "I was an Englishman, drawn.
by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature
underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered
out of the dungeon I was in." The voice replied, "I was safe, for
my box was fastened to their ship; and the carpenter should
immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large enough to
pull me out." I answered, "that was needless, and would take up
too much time; for there was no more to be done, but let one of the
crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea
into the ship, and so into the captain's cabin." Some of them, upon
hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for
indeed it never came into my head, that I was now got among
people of my own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and
in a few minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let
down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was taken
into the ship in a very weak condition.
The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand
questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally
confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them
to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous
objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an
honest worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint,
took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and
made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take a little
rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I gave him
to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too
good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two
chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides,
or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of.
the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there
before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me
utter these absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I
suppose to pacify me) he promised to give order as I desired, and
going upon deck, sent some of his men down into my closet,
whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my goods, and
stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead,
being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by the ignorance
of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they knocked off
some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when they had got
all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which by
reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to
rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the
havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly
touched me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I
would rather have forgot.
I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the
place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon
waking, I found myself much recovered. It was now about eight
o'clock at night, and the captain ordered supper immediately,
thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me with
great kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk
inconsistently: and, when we were left alone, desired I would give
him a relation of my travels, and by what accident I came to be set
adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He said "that about twelve
o'clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass, he spied it at
a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make,
being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit,.
his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer, and
finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover what it was;
that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a
swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself
in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with
them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several
times, observed my windows and wire lattices that defended
them. That he discovered two staples upon one side, which was all
of boards, without any passage for light. He then commanded his
men to row up to that side, and fastening a cable to one of the
staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they called it, toward the
ship. When it was there, he gave directions to fasten another cable
to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest with
pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two or
three feet." He said, "they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust
out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be
shut up in the cavity." I asked, "whether he or the crew had seen
any prodigious birds in the air, about the time he first discovered
me." To which he answered, that discoursing this matter with the
sailors while I was asleep, one of them said, he had observed three
eagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their
being larger than the usual size:" which I suppose must be
imputed to the great height they were at; and he could not guess
the reason of my question. I then asked the captain, "how far he
reckoned we might be from land?" He said, "by the best
computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues."
I assured him, "that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had
not left the country whence I came above two hours before I
dropped into the sea." Whereupon he began again to think that my.
brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me
to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, "I was well
refreshed with his good entertainment and company, and as much
in my senses as ever I was in my life." He then grew serious, and
desired to ask me freely, "whether I were not troubled in my mind
by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was
punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that
chest; as great criminals, in other countries, have been forced to
sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he should
be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would
engage his word to set me safe ashore, in the first port where we
arrived." He added, "that his suspicions were much increased by
some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first to his sailors,
and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or chest, as well
as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at supper."
I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully
did, from the last time I left England, to the moment he first
discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational
minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of
learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced of my
candour and veracity. But further to confirm all I had said, I
entreated him to give order that my cabinet should be brought, of
which I had the key in my pocket; for he had already informed me
how the seamen disposed of my closet. I opened it in his own
presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I made
in the country from which I had been so strangely delivered.
There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the king's
beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a paring of.
her majesty's thumb-nail, which served for the back. There was a
collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard long; four
wasp stings, like joiner's tacks; some combings of the queen's
hair; a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of, in a
most obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and
throwing it over my head like a collar. I desired the captain would
please to accept this ring in return for his civilities; which he
absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my
own hand, from a maid of honour's toe; it was about the bigness of
Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returned England,
I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him
to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of a mouse's
skin.
I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I
observed him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a
fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks, more than
such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon,
in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch's men, who was afflicted
with the tooth-ache, but it was as sound as any in his head. I got it
cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was about a foot long, and
four inches in diameter.
The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had
given him, and said, "he hoped, when we returned to England, I
would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it
public." My answer was, "that we were overstocked with books of
travels: that nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary;
wherein I doubted some authors less consulted truth, than their.
own vanity, or interest, or the diversion of ignorant readers; that
my story could contain little beside common events, without those
ornamental descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other
animals; or of the barbarous customs and idolatry of savage
people, with which most writers abound. However, I thanked him
for his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into my
thoughts."
He said "he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear
me speak so loud;" asking me "whether the king or queen of that
country were thick of hearing?" I told him, "it was what I had
been used to for above two years past, and that I admired as much
at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to
whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I
spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in the streets, to
another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when I was
placed on a table, or held in any person's hand." I told him, "I had
likewise observed another thing, that, when I first got into the
ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the
most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld." For indeed,
while I was in that prince's country, I could never endure to look
in a glass, after mine eyes had been accustomed to such
prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so
despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said, "that while we
were at supper, he observed me to look at every thing with a sort
of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my
laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to
some disorder in my brain." I answered, "it was very true; and I
wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size.
of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not
so big as a nut-shell;" and so I went on, describing the rest of his
household-stuff and provisions, after the same manner. For,
although he queen had ordered a little equipage of all things
necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas were
wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I
winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The
captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with
the old English proverb, "that he doubted mine eyes were bigger
than my belly, for he did not observe my stomach so good,
although I had fasted all day;" and, continuing in his mirth,
protested "he would have gladly given a hundred pounds, to have
seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its fall from so
great a height into the sea; which would certainly have been a
most astonishing object, worthy to have the description of it
transmitted to future ages:" and the comparison of Phaeton was so
obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although I did not
much admire the conceit.
The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,
driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude
of 143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board
him, we sailed southward a long time, and coasting New Holland,
kept our course west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till
we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our voyage was very
prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader with a journal of it.
The captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his long-boat
for provisions and fresh water; but I never went out of the ship till
we came into the Downs, which was on the third day of June,.
1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to leave my
goods in security for payment of my freight: but the captain
protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind leave
of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me
at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings,
which I borrowed of the captain.
As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the
trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput.
I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called
aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have
gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.
When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire,
one of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a
goose under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife run out
to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she
could otherwise never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter
kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till she arose,
having been so long used to stand with my head and eyes erect to
above sixty feet; and then I went to take her up with one hand by
the waist. I looked down upon the servants, and one or two friends
who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies and I a giant. I
told my wife, "she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved
herself and her daughter to nothing." In short, I behaved myself so
unaccountably, that they were all of the captain's opinion when he
first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as
an instance of the great power of habit and prejudice..
In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right
understanding: but my wife protested "I should never go to sea
any more;" although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not
power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the
mean time, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate
voyages..

         * PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNI-BARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN * 


        CHAPTER I.

[The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The
malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into
Laputa.]
I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William
Robinson, a Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout
ship of three hundred tons, came to my house. I had formerly been
surgeon of another ship where he was master, and a fourth part
owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more
like a brother, than an inferior officer; and, hearing of my arrival,
made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of friendship, for
nothing passed more than what is usual after long absences. But
repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to find I me in good
health, asking, "whether I were now settled for life?" adding, "that
he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two months," at last he
plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be surgeon of
the ship; "that I should have another surgeon under me, beside our
two mates; that my salary should be double to the usual pay; and
that having experienced my knowledge in sea-affairs to be at least
equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my
advice, as much as if I had shared in the command.".
He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so
honest a man, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I had
of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes,
continuing as violent as ever. The only difficulty that remained,
was to persuade my wife, whose consent however I at last
obtained, by the prospect of advantage she proposed to her
children.
We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St.
George the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to
refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went
to Tonquin, where the captain resolved to continue some time,
because many of the goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor
could he expect to be dispatched in several months. Therefore, in
hopes to defray some of the charges he must be at, he bought a
sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the
Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, and putting
fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he
appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic,
while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.
We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising,
we were driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the
east: after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong
gale from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two
pirates, who soon overtook us; for my sloop was so deep laden,
that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to defend
ourselves..
We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who
entered furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all
prostrate upon our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us
with strong ropes, and setting guard upon us, went to search the
sloop.
I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some
authority, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew
us by our countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in
his own language, swore we should be tied back to back and
thrown into the sea. I spoken Dutch tolerably well; I told him who
we were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians
and Protestants, of neighbouring countries in strict alliance, that
he would move the captains to take some pity on us. This
inflamed his rage; he repeated his threatenings, and turning to his
companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese
language, as I suppose, often using the word CHRISTIANOS.
The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese
captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came
up to me, and after several questions, which I answered in great
humility, he said, "we should not die." I made the captain a very
low bow, and then, turning to the Dutchman, said, "I was sorry to
find more mercy in a heathen, than in a brother christian." But I
had soon reason to repent those foolish words:
for that malicious reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to
persuade both the captains that I might be thrown into the sea
(which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I.
should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a
punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than
death itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the
pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was
determined that I should be set adrift in a small canoe, with
paddles and a sail, and four days' provisions; which last, the
Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, and
would permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe,
while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all
the curses and injurious terms his language could afford.
About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an
observation, and found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and
longitude of 183. When I was at some distance from the pirates, I
discovered, by my pocket-glass, several islands to the south-east. I
set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design to reach the
nearest of those islands, which I made a shift to do, in about three
hours. It was all rocky: however I got many birds' eggs; and,
striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry sea-weed, by which I
roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being resolved to spare my
provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under the shelter
of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well.
The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and
fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But,
not to trouble the reader with a particular account of my
distresses, let it suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last
island in my sight, which lay south-south-east to the former..
This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not
reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round,
before I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a
small creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found
the island to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of
grass, and sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions
and after having refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a
cave, whereof there were great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs
upon the rocks, and got a quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched
grass, which I designed to kindle the next day, and roast my eggs
as well as I could, for I had about me my flint, steel, match, and
burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave where I had lodged my
provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and sea-weed which I
intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my mind
prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I considered
how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a place,
and how miserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless
and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could
get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far
advanced. I walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly
clear, and the sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it:
when all on a sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner
very different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I
turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me and
the sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemed to be about
two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did not
observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened, than
if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached
nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a firm.
substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from
the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height about two
hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending
almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance.
I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover
numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which
appeared to be sloping; but what those people where doing I was
not able to distinguish.
The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I
was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way
or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition
I was in. But at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my
astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men,
who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into
progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time in a
disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose
to observe what course the island would take, because it seemed
for awhile to stand still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I
could see the sides of it encompassed with several gradations of
galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals, to descend from one to
the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with
long angling rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my
hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief toward the
island; and upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the
utmost strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly, I
beheld a crowd gather to that side which was most in my view. I
found by their pointing towards me and to each other, that they
plainly discovered me, although they made no return to my.
shouting. But I could see four or five men running in great haste,
up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I
happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to
some person in authority upon this occasion.
The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour, the
island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest
gallery appeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards distance
from the height where I stood. I then put myself in the most
supplicating posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but
received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against me,
seemed to be persons of distinction, as I supposed by their habit.
They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me.
At length one of them called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect,
not unlike in sound to the Italian: and therefore I returned an
answer in that language, hoping at least that the cadence might be
more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us understood the
other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people saw the
distress I was in.
They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go
towards the shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island
being raised to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a
chain was let down from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to
the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys..

        CHAPTER II.

[The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An
account of their learning. Of the king and his court. The author's
reception there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes.
An account of the women.]
Ay my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but
those who stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They
beheld me with all the marks and circumstances of wonder;
neither indeed was I much in their debt, having never till then seen
a race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, and
countenances. Their heads were all reclined, either to the right, or
the left; one of their eyes turned inward, and the other directly up
to the zenith. Their outward garments were adorned with the
figures of suns, moons, and stars; interwoven with those of
fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many
other instruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. I observed,
here and there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown
bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they
carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of
dried peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With
these bladders, they now and then flapped the mouths and ears of
those who stood near them, of which practice I could not then
conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so.
taken up with intense speculations, that they neither can speak,
nor attend to the discourses of others, without being roused by
some external taction upon the organs of speech and hearing; for
which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep
a flapper (the original is CLIMENOLE) in their family, as one of
their domestics; nor ever walk abroad, or make visits, without
him. And the business of this officer is, when two, three, or more
persons are in company, gently to strike with his bladder the
mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of him or them to
whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is likewise
employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and upon
occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always
so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of
falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every
post; and in the streets, of justling others, or being justled himself
into the kennel.
It was necessary to give the reader this information, without
which he would be at the same loss with me to understand the
proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to
the top of the island, and from thence to the royal palace. While
we were ascending, they forgot several times what they were
about, and left me to myself, till their memories were again roused
by their flappers; for they appeared altogether unmoved by the
sight of my foreign habit and countenance, and by the shouts of
the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds were more disengaged..
At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of
presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on
each side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a
large table filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical
instruments of all kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of
us, although our entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the
concourse of all persons belonging to the court. But he was then
deep in a problem; and we attended at least an hour, before he
could solve it. There stood by him, on each side, a young page
with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was at leisure, one
of them gently struck his mouth, and the other his right ear; at
which he startled like one awaked on the sudden, and looking
towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion of
our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He spoke
some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap
came up to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I
made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an
instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and
the whole court, a very mean opinion of my understanding. The
king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several questions, and
I addressed myself to him in all the languages I had. When it was
found I could neither understand nor be understood, I was
conducted by his order to an apartment in his palace (this prince
being distinguished above all his predecessors for his hospitality
to strangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me.
My dinner was brought, and four persons of quality, whom I
remembered to have seen very near the king's person, did me the
honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes each.
In the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an.
equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a
pudding into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks trussed
up in the form of fiddles; sausages and puddings resembling flutes
and hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The
servants cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and
several other mathematical figures.
While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several
things in their language, and those noble persons, by the
assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping
to raise my admiration of their great abilities if I could be brought
to converse with them. I was soon able to call for bread and drink,
or whatever else I wanted.
After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me
by the king's order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him
pen, ink, and paper, and three or four books, giving me to
understand by signs, that he was sent to teach me the language.
We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down a great
number of words in columns, with the translations over against
them; I likewise made a shift to learn several short sentences; for
my tutor would order one of my servants to fetch something, to
turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or walk, and the like.
Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed me also, in
one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, the
zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the
denominations of many plains and solids. He gave me the names
and descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general
terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I.
placed all my words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical
order. And thus, in a few days, by the help of a very faithful
memory, I got some insight into their language. The word, which
I interpret the flying or floating island, is in the original LAPUTA,
whereof I could never learn the true etymology. LAP, in the old
obsolete language, signifies high; and UNTUH, a governor; from
which they say, by corruption, was derived LAPUTA, from
LAPUNTUH. But I do not approve of this derivation, which
seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to the learned
among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was QUASI
LAP OUTED; LAP, signifying properly, the dancing of the
sunbeams in the sea, and OUTED, a wing; which, however, I shall
not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader.
Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was
clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for
a suit of clothes. This operator did his office after a different
manner from those of his trade in Europe. He first took my
altitude by a quadrant, and then, with a rule and compasses,
described the dimensions and outlines of my whole body, all
which he entered upon paper; and in six days brought my clothes
very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to mistake a
figure in the calculation. But my comfort was, that I observed
such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.
During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an
indisposition that held me some days longer, I much enlarged my
dictionary; and when I went next to court, was able to understand
many things the king spoke, and to return him some kind of.
answers. H